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Bṛhadāraṇyaka Upaniṣad

न वा अरे मैत्रेयि पत्युः कामाय पतिः प्रियो भवति । आत्मनस्तु कामाय पतिः प्रियो भवति ॥

O Maitreyi! A man is not loved because he is husband, but because of the Atman (Self) in him.

atmanloveself
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